Post-Chrysalis

Looking within using my own eyes is difficult.
I've come to see that I've developed my own conclusions and drawn my own opinions regarding nearly every concept I encounter except that of my own self.  Only after a quarter century did I even begin depicting an accurate reflection upon gazing into the mirror.

It's a thin line between love and fear when it comes to our closest relationships.    Acting so as to simultaneously engender both fear and love is a dangerous way to treat those closest to you.

I have been falling on purpose since I was taught to tie one lace from each shoe into a single knot.  I walked on my toes for years, treading lightly along the path of my own life.
I still cling to the fragments of an old life that sparked my madness.

If I had the power to make someone care, then I would have the power to make myself stop caring, but I honestly can't say which way I'd go...(That's not true, is it?).  Never have I been more alienated from my blood, yet never has there been more love in my life.

It's no longer up to me to keep pushing for something deeper.  What's the value of granting forgiveness to he who does not seek it?  Maybe that tree died and watering it is only rotting what could be fertile soil.  It isn't enough for me to be an accessory to your life, my aim is to enrich it by being exactly who I am without having to stop and apologize, or turn and look back to see if you approve.  I want to grow teach feel and learn alongside those with whom I share love...

What's the value of granting forgiveness to he who does not seek it?  

A quiet heart

A sound mind  

And a thirst that will only be quenched when I cease to be thirsty

Smoke & Mirrors

I've finally come to fully recognize the nature of the invisible enemy that will keep me forever restricted to the limitations of habit unless dethroned & eradicated.

While I was creating this Sigil, a thought emerged that will explain why I chose to share these usually private intentions with anyone.  A voice barely reminiscent of my own told me that the weight of this magic is such that it will be felt in the fields of my relatives, family & the friends I love. 

To take issue with this particular enemy has the potential to dismantle the boundaries that keep me feeling safe behind my mask, and those that are witness, in relation by blood or sentiment will also be confronted with their shadow as a result of my intention.  As far as my relationships go, this could be the first stick of dynamite that blows several bridges apart, and simultaneously one component of epoxy that will only harden when you too are full of the light this eradication shall bring.

I would apologize for the possible hardship that may lie ahead, but freedom is a blessing for which I will never regret granting myself or any other who become unbound as a result of this magic.  It seems most people are waiting to be granted permission to live the life they have always wanted to live.  

Well. 

Here it is... 

 I give you permission  

Now grant yourself permission, 

and use as motivation, the knowledge that

 a slice of perfection has been carved out of all possibility 

and it's up to you to find a balance, 

between initiative and acquiescence, 

as you build toward that notion of perfection.

This magic will be the catalyst if you believe.
Smoke & Mirrors

With Love